Thursday, May 19, 2011

My Fake Resume

Inspired by the over aggrandized bio of Joseph Rakofsky I want to write my own.

If you don't know who he is; Joseph Rakofsky is a lawyer who earned a mistrial for a criminal client due to his (alleged) incompetence as reported on the Washington Post. There has been quite a few commentaries on his "Streisand-house" approach of suing all the bloggers and even the Washington Post and American Bar Association for reporting his (alleged) ineptitude.

("Streisand-house" is what happened to Barbara Streisand who wanted to have a picture of her mansion removed from the internet and she sued to have it removed. Unfortunately suing requires the filing of public documents with a picture of her house. The lawsuit had the direct opposite effect it intended. Everybody now could see legally, since it was a public document, a picture of her house.)

But all that internet gossip aside I'm most impressed by his resume. Here is a quote from the website:

Prior to studying law, Mr. Rakofsky studied Economics and interviewed at a well-respected investment bank with branches all over the world.  Prior to law school, Mr. Rakofsky earned a Bachelor of Science in Biology, concentrating his attention on DNA.

It's so clever it too me a second to realize what he is saying. He studied economics (but didn't mayor in it), he interviewed at investment banks (but didn't intern there). I thought, I've got to do this with mine! But where to start?

Prior to winning an Oscar (since I haven't won one yet...) and prior to winning the Lottery (I love this one, cause I'm going to win it, of course, I have to, it's written on my bio), David Acevedo did consulting for a Video Game Publisher (a friend of mine did a game and I looked at it, told him it was "good", that counts right?).


Prior to graduating High School David studied archeology at Harvard and worked on a dig, exploring an early American settlement. In Princeton he concentrated on the archeological origins of agriculture all over the world.  (All true, but too tame, no Indiana Jones in there.)


As an acclaimed photographer, David has been witness to the massacre of hundreds (of elves I watched Lord of the Rings and I could snap photos at the time) and has been stationed (on vacation) in many areas of the world including Malaysia and Brazil with a permanent position in Japan (as a teacher not a photographer but you don't need to know that). His work has been admired by thousands (it's posted on the web) and hosted on multiple galleries (web galleries, there are my travel photos, my wall photos on Facebook, heck there are two galleries on my website alone).


Prior to achieving Enlightenment Guru David Acevedo studied Astrophysics at Princeton (one class) under renowned physicist and scientist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, who was impressed by David's grades (I complained he was grading me too harshly, he wasn't impressed). Seeking a deeper understanding of life, David moved to Japan where his spiritual path lead him to study Daoist masters and to deepen his knowledge of Buddhism (read books and looked at DaiButsu). Returning back to academia David studied optics and light (cinematography and lighting) in an advanced studies institution in Florida that can be compared to Priceton's Institute for Advanced Study (doesn't compare favorably, but you can compare apples and oranges all day). An expert at modeling (I watch models, the Brazilian ones are hot) David left physics behind to concentrate on the self. He immersed himself into Hinduism (I dated an Indian chick) and Judaism (later went out with a Jewish girl) in his quest for greater knowledge (of the female species). Producing works on topics such as happiness (true actually, documentary) and truth (true, essay and possibly a book later)

or... (I can do this all day).

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