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Cookie Cutter Job postings

I've been between jobs for a while, so I spend a fair amount of time looking at job postings. Admittedly this is a sad and very depressing activity so some weeks I just don't even look, let alone apply. Seems that my time is better used reading, learning programming, mastering a new swimming technique or writing.

After a while though you start seeing some really weird patterns in the postings, that make me wonder when people write this, do they know what they want? Some of them almost sound like dating site profiles' "What do you look for in a partner." I'm waiting for the one that says Requirements "Be Tall, Dark and Handsome." But more often you see the exact same type of language over and over again. Almost like a code that I can't quite decipher. I'm tempted (well more than tempted) to call my friends that work in HR (Human Resources) and have them translate it for me.

Going by Job Postings, there are no jobs for calm people outside of "Senior" technical positions. All other positions require a lot of "enthusiasm" and "energy." Unless of course your job actually requires those then it will say "must lift heavy things." Going by this, the perfect candidate that HR is looking for is a speed-freak, that does meth on the side and doesn't sleep.

All jobs even internships for college students say they require experience, though some will soften it with experience is "a plus" but that looks like the same posting that say "advance degree not required but a plus." A phrase that always leaves me confused. Does it mean that they will consider you? Or does it mean if anybody with an advanced degree applies we'll consider them first?

It's clear that many times the person writing the job posting is not the person that will work directly with the applicant. At least on two interviews I've been to, the posting had no correlation to the job I was interviewing for, leaving me unprepared for the interview. And now after reading so many it seems that many job postings are cookie cutter. They look for "high energy" because it sounds good, not because the person needs to be high energy at all.

Weirdly nobody seems to want a "high energy" accountant. I wonder why? Sounds good to me. Last thing we need is a boring accountant, numbers are dry enough as it is. You'd think a cheerleader would help bring life to them. :)

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